The results working with Andrew have been life changing. To begin, he continued a group therapy experience I had started with another therapist and had somewhat saved a bunch of orphaned patients upon that therapist’s death. I had begun some real work there and would have had a hard time re-starting that anywhere else with other people. I came to Andrew harboring the impact of growing up with a lot of mental and physical abuse that took its toll on my self-esteem, relationships and recently parenting experience. His efforts, guidance, advocacy helped me navigate important choices these past few years that concerned a marriage not working and my safety and my son’s as well. Having grown up with shaky boundaries for so long with an abusive mom and a complicit Dad – I really needed some outside support and perspective of what was healthy and unhealthy in relationships. I started to take care of myself and I’m grateful for the things he suggested and the conversation he catalyzed in that group also gave me the courage to separate and divorce from a relationship that was already physically dangerous to me and was getting worse. Frankly, he most likely saved me from some real physical damage, as the fights with my ex-husband were getting to be more violent. And, growing up with violence in many ways I was not only numb to how bad things were getting, but I was provoking some of these episodes with some co-dependent behavior and also the pattern of reliving some old cycles. And, my son was witnessing it all and incredibly stressed at 3 years old.
Making these decisions helped that ailing relationship and helped me lay boundaries regarding acceptable behavior from ex-husband and as a result I’ve seen miracles – his sobriety and co-parenting cooperation and a communication we share now thanks to me learning how I had become a lot like the mother who got me to therapy in the first place. I know it was analyzing my own behavior – good and bad that changed things. I tackled some other big issues in Andrew’s session including my father’s sex addiction and its impact on me, managing a non-profit through some very threatening and challenging times where my livelihood was at stake and my own growth in relationships with men/boyfriends. I am in a new relationship right now different than anything I’ve had in a long time. I’m taking it slow, it’s full of integrity and it’s not weighed down with my issues so I can enjoy this person and the intimacy slowly building. I appreciated Andrew’s patience and his ability to help us help each other in the group.
I had a predilection for dating addicts, some who could be abusive emotionally and others physically. Others were passive, but mostly I just could not stay away from alcoholics and pot heads. I also had many rage issues growing up in a household with a mother who was the daughter and sister of alcoholics and the wife of a sex addict. I was the direct depository of her anger/rage/sadness and I could be like her, as well as receive that kind of treatment. I was a walking wound, essentially and acquired a lot of coping mechanisms thinking I was hiding that – that kept me from getting close to people, trusting others and feeling satisfied. Andrew’s therapy and that specific group experience has broken that chain. I feel like I’ve acquired a new gauge of what’s acceptable and unacceptable behavior and that has opened up doors to new and better friendships and relationships, an amiable co-parenting situation, a commitment to my own mental maintenance attending alanon meetings and an overall ability to enjoy joy – my life and my son. Years of being told I was crazy, the problem, etc. took its toll and there were times I wanted to give up and possibly kill myself. I know Andrew and this group therapy situation made a 180 of that situation. I know that I just needed time and a place to heal.
Andrew is kind and that trait is transcendent in his therapy. He was very good at getting us in the group to assist each other and reach into our own tool boxes to support each other and also examine ourselves in the process of helping each other. For my experiences, low self-esteem and destructive patterns – I needed a patient group and therapist who would let me make some of the same mistakes quite a few times. I learned, of course, but appreciated the room to be human.
When I first attended I was desperate to attend having ended an engagement to an alcoholic I loved very much. I was still starved for anyone to love me more than I loved myself, which wasn’t a lot. Then, it became a place I could maintain my new good mental health – work out my biggest stresses and get the boost I needed for important change. I could workshop the most complex things there and take the burden off the world I wanted to be present in.
I have a 4 year old son and I see the greatest benefit of your therapy there Andrew. I was so sad and in pain that I couldn’t enjoy what a gift he is sometimes. And, now I get the pleasure of being present with him, calm, healed and loving. He’s a pretty effervescent kid and without all the bags I was carrying around – resenting my own parents, feeling outcast and abused – we are just enjoying being mom and son. And, I can enjoy that he has a present dad and a whole village who care for him and me. I am forever grateful for your advice, protection and dedication to us. I miss these group friends I had, but carry their encouragement with me. You created an important space for people to change their lives for the better. I don’t have the parents who reach out and see if I’m ok and even when they ask, they don’t want an answer, but I had this other place where I learned to be loved, how to express love and it’s working for me everywhere, more than I can explain – co-workers, new friends, that same dysfunctional family and myself.
k.c.
Making these decisions helped that ailing relationship and helped me lay boundaries regarding acceptable behavior from ex-husband and as a result I’ve seen miracles – his sobriety and co-parenting cooperation and a communication we share now thanks to me learning how I had become a lot like the mother who got me to therapy in the first place. I know it was analyzing my own behavior – good and bad that changed things. I tackled some other big issues in Andrew’s session including my father’s sex addiction and its impact on me, managing a non-profit through some very threatening and challenging times where my livelihood was at stake and my own growth in relationships with men/boyfriends. I am in a new relationship right now different than anything I’ve had in a long time. I’m taking it slow, it’s full of integrity and it’s not weighed down with my issues so I can enjoy this person and the intimacy slowly building. I appreciated Andrew’s patience and his ability to help us help each other in the group.
I had a predilection for dating addicts, some who could be abusive emotionally and others physically. Others were passive, but mostly I just could not stay away from alcoholics and pot heads. I also had many rage issues growing up in a household with a mother who was the daughter and sister of alcoholics and the wife of a sex addict. I was the direct depository of her anger/rage/sadness and I could be like her, as well as receive that kind of treatment. I was a walking wound, essentially and acquired a lot of coping mechanisms thinking I was hiding that – that kept me from getting close to people, trusting others and feeling satisfied. Andrew’s therapy and that specific group experience has broken that chain. I feel like I’ve acquired a new gauge of what’s acceptable and unacceptable behavior and that has opened up doors to new and better friendships and relationships, an amiable co-parenting situation, a commitment to my own mental maintenance attending alanon meetings and an overall ability to enjoy joy – my life and my son. Years of being told I was crazy, the problem, etc. took its toll and there were times I wanted to give up and possibly kill myself. I know Andrew and this group therapy situation made a 180 of that situation. I know that I just needed time and a place to heal.
Andrew is kind and that trait is transcendent in his therapy. He was very good at getting us in the group to assist each other and reach into our own tool boxes to support each other and also examine ourselves in the process of helping each other. For my experiences, low self-esteem and destructive patterns – I needed a patient group and therapist who would let me make some of the same mistakes quite a few times. I learned, of course, but appreciated the room to be human.
When I first attended I was desperate to attend having ended an engagement to an alcoholic I loved very much. I was still starved for anyone to love me more than I loved myself, which wasn’t a lot. Then, it became a place I could maintain my new good mental health – work out my biggest stresses and get the boost I needed for important change. I could workshop the most complex things there and take the burden off the world I wanted to be present in.
I have a 4 year old son and I see the greatest benefit of your therapy there Andrew. I was so sad and in pain that I couldn’t enjoy what a gift he is sometimes. And, now I get the pleasure of being present with him, calm, healed and loving. He’s a pretty effervescent kid and without all the bags I was carrying around – resenting my own parents, feeling outcast and abused – we are just enjoying being mom and son. And, I can enjoy that he has a present dad and a whole village who care for him and me. I am forever grateful for your advice, protection and dedication to us. I miss these group friends I had, but carry their encouragement with me. You created an important space for people to change their lives for the better. I don’t have the parents who reach out and see if I’m ok and even when they ask, they don’t want an answer, but I had this other place where I learned to be loved, how to express love and it’s working for me everywhere, more than I can explain – co-workers, new friends, that same dysfunctional family and myself.
k.c.